[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Monday, October 24th, 2005|
i know im issing somthng, i jut cant figur ot wat i i.
it is clear that i am not perfet.
pr em i pot tugether perpect, just misguidid id how in doimg wgat in doigg.
the puzzle put together puts it visually that i am not perfect even underneath the image.
what everyone sees is not exact nor are they misguided in who i've let them know i am.
i'm not a hypocrite, just perfect.
perfectly created into flaw that was designed to take you out of mind and into heart and take me for who i am not who i am or let you know i am because i am neither.
i am perfect.
and my flaws are something i need to simply own up two and try my hardest not to comply to, thats why i call them flaws
If my flaws ever come in handy I will know and use them accordingly so I do not need to worry about if my flaws are good or bad, thats why I call them flaws. There is a reason they are called flaws, and there is a reason why I try not to comply with them.
hurray. i'm perfct! Current Mood: complacent
|Sunday, September 11th, 2005|
man i'm cool i speak my truth and i am out...
and the wind bites what i spoke warmth upon
and a gust of chilly willy slides on the back
not too often do i leave with out a reason
and boy do i have reasons for the seasons
they change and i go and i show a new town
whats going on brown cow
this posse is bout to be flipped upside down
but i'm here for you
i don't want you for myself as much as i want you safe
my finger isn't pointed
but my words are spit like throwing knifes in a circus fashion:
as close as possible with out cutting the skin
so you k/now whats happening
and make the first move...
i hope you're in motion before the next words leave my mouth
or this whole brotherhood/companionship could go south
unless you know my aim
and fix the goal to what i pertain to,
aim to please...who?
if we see the same cloud we can precieve it as and alligator or a caboose and pump cart
but i know someone unchanging and always the same
if we see something different
one of us loses
if this makes sense...please explain it to me
|Saturday, September 10th, 2005|
when i like the girl
that doesn't like the guy
bam, in the face cement brick
crumble on the dome smack of reality
i keep hitting myself with a stone
that may not even exist
and promise it's better than my fist
without a hint of reality
keep your blunt objects away from me
i don't need em
i don't want em
i am not in a state of panic
i am not in a state of approval
i am in a state of two cities
one is wisdom and the other is purity
i rely on what i don't have and i'm all good
|Wednesday, September 7th, 2005|
|ok, i figured it out
how can i be natural...
thanks a bunch, if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be here, and he makes it easy to love people, and i love hanging out with someone i know
i am natural in his wisdom
his wisdom is first of all pure...
thats all you need to know Current Mood: excited
|Monday, September 5th, 2005|
finally pappy and i cuddled.
|Sunday, September 4th, 2005|
there's a gun with everything i want inside of it
she holds it and i want so much for her to pull it
but what happens when the trigger is pulled
the spring snaps back metal to metal
wait go back cause i don't know how to reverse time...
ok, so she's pulling it back
no no no wait wait...
i gave her the gun.
i gave her what i wanted her to have
it may too much or too little but i gave her...
it doesn't matter, cause when she has it i know that there was no safety
it's fully loaded, and i'm not pulling the trigger
six shots is not how i work
i have one, and she has the number one gun
i don't know how...
i don't know why...
but she just pulled the trigger
|Saturday, September 3rd, 2005|
ok, obviously, after this ammount of time of not writing, i would need a reason to get back into it.
SCHOOL has started, and i think 3 people have subscriptions to my weblog, so this is mainly theraputic.
Toni Bunker. What a princess pal.
Any ways, thats all. She wins at everything. And I SO wanna be her. But seriously i spent time with her and it was tubular to just twitch to sleep after a good talking with. Glorious getting to know someone, just listening to what mattered to her and her thoughts in general made me think who others are and how we affect them. I found out things that are just cool about life while going to sleep.
T Bunky Bunk. What a classy gal.
Living life, and letting them know they matter, doesn't need to be verbal. I need to spend more time with my thrift store friend tt. She is awesome and i hung out with her like...twice. AND MEMORY IS THE GREATEST GAME EVER! She is a friend of mine, so i need to show her with time, not only that, i get to show her i care through time. It's so much more fun, than just telling people, and it usually means more.
I no longer need to spend time worring about what others think, because I am in christ. here's the thing. I DO care if people don't like me. But I more care of what a friend thinks of me. I don't need them to adore me, or be the coolest kid in their life, but i can't have someone not liking me unless i know why. IF a weak reason, then it's foolish and i don't mind/care. If there is a reason, i want to be able to learn from how i treated them and grow.
I don't believe in just being satisfied with mattering to God. If i don't matter in other peoples life, i wasted it. that is really where i'm coming from in regards to the above.
JC has everything, I have no care in the world, i follow him, i have no worries.
But I need to follow his calling, because i hear it more than i realize. Just with subtle feelings like tiredness. I can't spend time building relationships even though that is one of the most important callings in the world, if i have a calling to do my hw, or spend time praying, or with another friend.
I miss captain kangaroo because no one can keep a mustache like he could.
I need to see jerry mcguire...i think.
I saw some wresteling that i liked.
I NEED to make a hayley westerna music video PRONTO. puppy. Dog. homey. comfortable. jaguar. puma. nike. bball. bases. 3. Jesus.
I HAVE NO CARE EXCEPT THE CARE CHRIST GIVES ME. deep huh, aka, i don't care if my hair can stare and blare at the state fair.
(washing dishes...) "Is he really going to sell the house?"
i wanna know, and yet i don't...
wanna know what the 3rd floor girls were all loving like a bia on sept. 3rd, 2005 approx. 12:20 am
i'll let that go to the lord and may they be judged mercifully Current Mood: giddy
|Tuesday, August 30th, 2005|
|what are we again
is it you and her again
is it you and him again
where do we lie...
in regards to how we lie
5 times 10 times are we leaving it to time
or can we start new boundaries and choose to redefine
paradigm for a pair of dimes or more
depending on what we both are looking for
cause if one of us slips... and rises or falls
troubles fall like a glass ball coming down
down on my foot and i don't like when i get cut
but, i am willing to risk my baseball card collection
even the KG Jr. signed rookie card first edition kept mint
and things that in comparison would make that look like lint
and nothing more than dirt, cause we hold hearts not worth breaking
but worth risking
and newness, is not found in her
|Saturday, August 20th, 2005|
totally entralled with material issue's "valerie loves me" and mrs. bedingfield's "these words"
|Saturday, August 13th, 2005|
a zither has too many strings
let it have one, and focus
we can do so much with one
but we can harmonize with many
how often are all strands used to their full potential
sand, dust, dirt, so many
how could we comprehend a single unless multiplied
care for a dying plant
we are the same
and no one likes to be the only one dying
we've been taught to grow
don't let death touch a single petal of a friend
unless they've been taught to heal themselves
in which case all you can do is what they can't
and some parts you can't touch
|Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005|
i can't study right now, i'm continually thinking about how i should be more friendly
i think, i shouldn't bother this person
but who am i to say they don't want to be talked to
i care enough to not, then i should care enough to if i REALLY care
maybe i don't have balls to do it
maybe i should just do it, i usually do it
are people i know a factor in meeting people i don't know?
i care for these people and it's time i showed it by caring to their faces
they will know your fakeness unless you're are real in which case they'll know your truth
and caring in christ is something i can't live without because it makes me feel so dang good, and it makes God feel so dang good which makes me feel even better! Current Mood: blank
|Monday, August 1st, 2005|
|a poem from a thought
i pull the lever and nothing comes out
tricks leave me red and cold
you give me gifts
none from your heart, or even you
you take credit for others greatness
i buy it cause i have no basis to not
you disquise your sent all too well
you have given me nothing
i wash you clean with the hose
blasting the truth from your plastic skin
the light makes clear your shifting shadows
your stage is your humiliation
i open the book you gave me
it is to me from the one who truly loved me
my clock has been reset
now when i am given gifts
the covering darkness is no longer protection
you stood in that corner
and now no one is there
the light is a revealing joy
to finally know where this love comes from
while reading james 1:16-18
|Friday, July 1st, 2005|
| it's not me
it's not me speaking
it's my voice
my portrayal of what is supposed to happen
saliva warms my words
it flows slowly like a dribble
and you understand when i spit
i want to let you know
time isn't influenced by gravity
or is it
could i let it drip sooner
than hit you with spit
i hope wish and pray so
come to me
my throat gets rash
heal what doesn't need to be filled
but you heal when i fail
feel it in your throat
|Monday, June 6th, 2005|
|Wednesday, May 25th, 2005|
does anyone know the song that they play during one of the new asian writing commercials
that is hip hoppy with a sort of "lady and the tramp" siamese song to it?
i'd LOOOOOOOOOVE to know who did that.
this is only because i don't know how to post in another community
can someone help me?
sorry poem readers...
i only get post to poems section
weird? Current Mood: groggy
|Tuesday, May 24th, 2005|
moves at the speed of the light
I’m in the fight of my life for all of my life
My life is in the lime light
my life here is finite
So gather round tonight and take a look at my life
it's alright to put someone elses poetry up right?
if not, here is something to make up for it
ha, what life
but seriously here it is
i'm serious, LOOK
you see it in my words
by whatever humor you see
whatever facial expression you see me having if i was reciting this excript of life
thats how i feel, to you that is
you will never see me
because it's my LIFE
that makes me
you won't see it all
and you don't have to
but when you see my life, what you take it for that is
i don't care who you are
i want to give you my life if you want a piece
which it seems like you do I can only hope no matter what piece you ask for
it can be of my life
since you want some
i want to make my life ultimate
i want the best for you so i work my butt off
unselfish or arrogantly selfish waiting for praise and rewards if i give you EVERYTHING
forget about thinking
forget what i said
ignore clouding thoughts
i probably put them there
know that you see my life
know that if i give you crap i meant to give you gems
but forgot what my life was made of and matter for
and i'm here to share it with you now
all the best to you
here it is
but always my life Current Mood: complacent
sadness prevails unless we set sails
sadness prevails unless we set sails
oceans don't come and go
we enter them
willingly with high hopes
decicions are made with mast high
we go furthest with the wind with us
actions and counter actions defy you
but are what you need to make me
that way you and I find land
but can sail together any time
We do our own damage, and I love fixing it
building better boats
floating faster and further
when we hit each other on the same vessel
we tear ourselves apart
sadness prevails unless we set sails
I reach to pull them up, you pull with me
we set sails
sadness prevailed until we set sails
and we have set sail Current Mood: cheerful